Girls, I can’t lie, that phone call sent me spiralling into a whole new level of reflection.
And the conclusion I came to was simple: I cannot accept this man back into my life.
This is the same man who pulled the rug out from under my entire life because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. The hold he has over me isn’t just about the love I thought I had for him, it’s because, somewhere along the way, I lost my best friend too.
He knew me inside and out. He saw me… or at least I thought he did. Because if he truly saw me, he would have understood the depth of the hurt he caused. The shame. The heartbreak. The way it shattered something inside of me.
Now girls, let’s be honest for a moment, my attachment issues are about as subtle as a neon sign. Anyone with eyes could probably see that.
When the first man who is supposed to love you consistently, your dad abandons you, something shifts. That was my first heartbreak. The man who was meant to show me what safe love looked like was the very man who made me question it.
Now don’t get me wrong. I had my siblings.
My big brother stepped up in ways he never should have had to. He was still a child himself, trying to figure out how to become a man while quietly carrying responsibilities that weren’t his.
And my big sister, her heart has always been fierce, loyal, and unapologetically outspoken. But she was navigating her own difficult relationship at the time. How was she meant to show me what healthy love looked like when she was still trying to survive love herself?
As for my brother, the older he got the more his tough exterior hardened. Life has a funny way of doing that to people.
And my mum? I love my mum more than life itself. But sometimes I can’t help wondering what life would have looked like if she had chosen a different man to be our father. Someone kinder. Someone more aligned with the love she deserved.
Of course, if that had happened, maybe none of us would exist. And I suppose that’s life’s strange little paradox.
But growing up the way we did meant one thing: I never really had a healthy example of love.
So somewhere along the way I started believing that men simply weren’t capable of being faithful. That chaos, betrayal, and emotional damage were just part of the deal. Something the women in my family quietly endured.
But girls… that isn’t love.
Love should be kind.
Patient.
Respectful.
Safe.
Now don’t get me wrong, every relationship will have challenges. You’re two imperfect humans trying to build something together. But those challenges should feel like speed bumps, not mountains you’re climbing alone.
Anyway, sorry for the mini therapy session. Let’s circle back to the useless man that is my ex.
Why now?
My guess? The new girl he found isn’t quite living up to the expectations he had when he was with me.
Maybe the washing isn’t magically done.
Maybe dinner isn’t waiting on the table when he gets home.
Maybe the house isn’t the spotless little sanctuary he once had.
Funny how those things become noticeable once they’re gone.
I’m sure you miss it, my friend. You had your entire life organised for you.
But anyway… enough about him. For now.
Because let’s be honest girls: men like that always make a reappearance eventually.
But in the meantime, I have plenty more stories coming your way.
Situationships that went absolutely nowhere.
Avoidant men who fear commitment like it’s a contagious disease.
And of course… the infamous mummy’s boys who think it’s our life’s mission to raise them into functioning adults.
Absolutely not.
Not on my watch.
Because somewhere along this journey I’ve realised something important: I’ve taken my power back.
And I’m no longer accepting subpar men just to avoid being alone.
💌 Lovergirl Lesson
Girls, sometimes the hardest thing isn’t letting go of the man who hurt you, it’s letting go of the version of him you believed in.
But someone who truly sees you would never choose to break you in the first place.
And once you realise that… you start choosing yourself instead.
Until next time,
Love always,
Lovergirl 💌
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